God has provided me with a job as a graphic designer with Hedman, a company that makes aftermarket parts for muscle cars. It’s been 8 months since I have had a job and I have been at the end of my savings for the past 5 months, but God continued to supply me with whatever I needed for each day. He has never allowed me to go without. Through this time some of the lessons that I have learned are humility to ask others for help, finding my identity in Christ and not in my work, working to have a steadfast faith especially in hard times that don’t make a lot of sense, being able to fellowship in frustration and uncertainty with others who are also unemployed, and most importantly to keep on loving other people that are around me even when my own needs are screaming for my attention. It’s amazing the peace I have when I’m looking to others with love instead of my own situation with fear. God is gracious in so many ways and his love really is incredible to me.
He’s been teaching me a lot about simple obedience lately. These are the words of Christ found in John 14:21, “Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” We all have our medications and mine has always been sex, either having it with girlfriends or looking at pornography. Lately I’ve been wanting to lust after the women I see day to day or look up women on the internet but by God’s grace I keep coming back to the fact that I really desire him more than my own gratification. I want to be loved by the Father and I want to know Christ and have him manifest himself to me. It’s this desire that day in and day out keeps me denying myself, picking up my cross and following Christ in pursuing the will of God and not my own. The more this is done, the more I feel the love of God upon me and the more I want to run after him full stride. I want to live a life evidenced by the power of His spirit at work and alive in me. I want to know Christ as if He is manifested and standing right in front of me. When I’m sober-minded and self-controlled I see so much clearly that God really is this treasure I have found that is completely worth giving up everything else for. It’s amazing what obedience in the little things, the secret things, does. It’s more beautiful than I could ever have imagined, and is what really defines my love for God and his love for me; all because of his immeasurable grace. Praise him!
